Monday, November 17, 2008

Compelling 08

I don't know, lately it seems I've had a hard time writing. I have thoughts - I started like 7 different entries on blogspot but never finished them. Hmm. So I'm gonna try and write about what's been going on these days...

Compelling 08 was by far one of the best conferences I've ever been to, in all the IV conferences I've attended. The best one would have to be Urbana, but Compelling 08 comes as a close second. It was also the first conference Jerry and I have attended together since Urbana. We used to go to conferences all the time my freshman year, so I was really excited about Compelling. Also, it was our 3 years that Saturday! :) I was glad he was there so we could spend it together, even if it was only for two hours. I took a track called "Sexy on the Inside" and it was just amazing. God blew me away with all the ways He spoke to me. I have to say I was really skeptical at first, and a little embarrassed about my track. Most of the AIV people were in another one, and I felt that people might be like, "Why do you need to take that track...?" But anyway, all very unreasonable reasons (haha!). The track ended up being just... so good. The staff just completely opened their lives up to us, and shared with us very personal stories and struggles. Much of track time was unplanned and spent in quiet worship, journalling, and spending time with the Lord, which I thought was the most valuable of all. I really enjoyed the processing time, and God spoke to me so deeply during those times. It's so cool how once you ask for God to reveal Himself, He will! It's just so often, we don't ask. I remember praying, "Okay, God, please show me what you want to say to me." after journalling for a while. My bible opened to Romans and it was just TONS of scripture, speaking to my heart. Wow. :) I was amazed.

Compelling was also a time where God set me free from my past. For the longest time I had been struggling with insecurities that stemmed from my past and some that I never told anyone about, because I felt ashamed and embarassed. When our staff in the track told us to write our own stories about sexuality and intimacy, I didn't want to write it. Writing my story down would mean that these things did indeed happen and I was scared about what that would entail and what people would think of me. Writing my story was one of the hardest parts of this track, but also the most freeing. With each word, I felt God's grace pour down on me, and writing the next word became easier. It was as if God was saying, "I'm here. I know all these things already, but I want you to lay them down here. I want to set you free." It was quite emotional, but I did it. I even had the courage to share my story with Jerry - he knew most of it, but there were some things that he didn't know. I prayed that God would help him to forgive me in the ways I had wronged him, and vice versa. On our 3 year anniversary, as we were sitting across from each other and talking, God gave us the grace to forgive one another and to put the past behind us. How freeing it is to be walking with God everyday with no burdens of the past weighing down on us! Praise God for His amazing work in our lives.

Thanksgiving is almost here. But that should be another post in itself. I guess this post was just about Compelling! It was amazing. Please go next year if you didn't get to go this year! :)

1 comment:

Joyce said...

wow, thanks for being so vulnerable, melpan! it sounds like God was really working. i love hearing updates about how things are going in AIV!