Shocked

Raymond,

You were always like my little brother. Always teasing, always making jokes, always there for a good conversation. I remember the questions you asked me - about faith, about love, about God. I hope I answered you adequately each time. Thank you for checking up on me in college all the time - I always got a laugh out of the AIM messages you left me. A lot of times you were in Taiwan in the past couple years, I wasn't there, but I still have fond memories of you and hanging out at Godsquad. Thanks for being a brother that I never had, and my heart hurts that your life didn't even really take off before you were taken to be with God. I have so many questions and I feel angry right now because I feel like you left too fast, too young. Why, Lord? But I know with complete faith that you are with Jesus now, and that comforts me. It doesn't hurt less though.

When my sister told me what had happened, I sat in front of my computer for an hour in complete shock. I wondered why I didn't feel anything. I realized that I was in denial. You weren't gone, it couldn't be. A few minutes ago it finally kicked in that you are gone, and the tears came. I miss you. It hurts that I'll never see another AIM message from you and that we won't talk again, at least in this life. I'll look forward to talking more in heaven, and seeing you again there.

Rest in peace. I wish I had a photo of us together - I know I do, but I think it's at home.