Anyway, the first chapter was on insecurity in relationship with others. This is something I've always struggled with - what others think of me, what they say about me, how well-liked I am, etc. It's been a work in progress over the years, and while I can say that I've grown tremendously, the insecurity is still there.
I was reminded of this in my classroom today when my CT exclaimed to a usually well-behaved student that she was not pleased with the students' behavior today. This little girl is the sweetest and most timid little girl - so sweet but so quiet, if you know what I mean. She completely crumbled. She was sobbing at her desk as the rest of the class was going through their work, so I called her over to my desk. I knew that she was crying because of what the teacher said - it broke her. And she reminded me of myself at that age. I remember wanting to please my teachers so much... any little negativity I felt from them broke me.
The same way a harsh word from a friend broke me.
The same way a "look" from someone made me question my self-worth.
I asked her if what the teacher said had hurt her. She nodded yes.
I explained to her that it wasn't that the teacher was mad at her but rather, she knew she could do better.
She nodded, went back to her seat, and continued to cry. I called her over again and gave her a hug.
Before the students were dismissed for the day, she had stopped crying, but still was so sad. I stopped her at the door and told her it was okay to be sad for now, but that tomorrow I wanted to see her smiling face again. She nodded and left quietly.
At such a young age... so much value is placed on acceptance, self-worth, self-esteem. If only we could all learn that we are precious and however someone else views us, it doesn't matter...
So much easier said than done, huh?