I've been doing a devotional this summer by Beth Moore. It's called "Breaking Free". It's a really interesting devotional, because it's all about captivity. Before, when I thought about captivity, I always thought it was being weighed down by some horrible sin or burden. But it's really not like that at all. Beth phrases it so well: "A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for him or her."
Wow. If that's the case... then I'm held captive by plenty of things. Going through this devotional day by day has been very refreshing. The way Beth wrote the book just speaks to me. Very few books do this easily, so I'm really enjoying going through this book, although it is hard at times. God really spoke to me in the chapter titled "To Find Satisfaction in God." Beth writes, "I believe a person can receive Christ as Savior, serve Him for decades, and meet Him face-to-face in glory without ever experiencing satisfaction in Him." Just as we get hungry for food, physically, we also get spiritually hungry. The funny thing is, sometimes when you are so hungry for some food, you get to a point where you're not hungry anymore. Same goes for spiritual hunger - when you haven't been filled for so long, you don't remember what it's like to be spiritually "full" anymore.
That was a very convicting chapter. I looked back on my life, recently, and realized that while I can see God working, the personal relationship aspect of my spiritual walk has been lacking. When was the last time I sat down and prayed? Or just read the Bible? And spent more than 5 minutes looking at a passage? It pains me to write this, but when I was thinking about it, I couldn't remember. Like Beth was writing, I am spiritually so "hungry" that I don't remember what it's like to be full.
Lord, fill me up. Help me to remember what it's like to have Your presence completely satisfy me, so that I can be free.