Thursday, November 11, 2010

God's Purpose For Me

I wrote in my journal this week (finally got back to actually journalling regularly):

Teaching is such an emotional rollercoaster - one day things go great and one day my best laid-out plans just bomb. Admist the trials, though, there is joy - like the little boy today who told me, "Ms. Pan, I am handsome!" and of course, all the hugs. I hope I never lose sight of why I love kids and love teaching. I hope I never lose my passion. 

During my quiet time yesterday, I read an inspiring quote from Oswald Chambers:

"If you seek great things for yourself, you barricade God from using you. As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions you cannot be completely aligned and identified with God's image." 

Wow. Something that I'm constantly learning these days is that it's not about me - it's not about how well I teach a lesson or how perfectly I plan out a lesson plan. All those things are important and good, but what's more important is that my students see God and His love through me. Am I being completely open to being used by God at school each day? Some days, I feel like I'm just getting by, and trying to appear like the perfect teacher. But my imperfections hit me everyday - I'm constantly thinking about how I could do better, teach better, love better, and the list goes on. Sometimes, it's exhausting.

But God does not call for perfection - He calls for a trusting heart. And some days, when I'm weary and tired, He reminds me that He only requires that I trust Him and give Him my "perfect" plans and He will take care of the rest.

This goes on to the rest of the things in my life as well, but God has been showing me a lot through my work at school. It's very humbling but also has stretched my faith a lot and helped me to grow. Please keep teaching me, Lord!

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